Friday, December 26, 2008

How Red Indians related to Stock Market

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be..
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is Going to be quite cold indeed," the weather man Responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more Wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's definitely going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.
"Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," The Man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Red Indians are collecting wood like Crazy."

This is how stock market works!!!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Why Bill Gates SOLD OFF Microsoft?


Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.


Last one from me to Mr. Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

Regards,

Banta

Monday, May 12, 2008

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain

Whatever your cross,

whatever your pain,

there will always be sunshine,

later when it rains ....

Perhaps you may stumble,

perhaps even fall,

But God is always ready,

To answer your call ...

He knows every heartache,

sees every tear,

A word from His lips,

can calm every fear ...

Your sorrows may linger,

throughout the night,

But suddenly vanish,

in dawn's early light ...

The Savior is waiting,

somewhere above,

To give you His grace,

and send you His love...

Whatever your cross,

whatever your pain,

"God always sends rainbows ..."

Just wait for the rain

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Friday, February 22, 2008

राम का letter सीता के लिए पंजाबी में...


प्यारी सीता,



मैं itthe raji ख़ुशी से हाँ and hope ke tu v ठीक ठाक hovengi,
Laxman रात नु tannu बहुत याद करदा si.
मैं इस बन्दर दे हाथ tannu चिट्ठी bhej reha हाँ,
तू bilkul tension ना layi मैं बहुत jaldi tenu ravan कोलो chuda lavanga.

मैं AIRTEL दा postpaid ले लिया सी, RAVAN nu मैं mobile te bhot
गालियाँ kadiya te साले ने काट ditta,
चल कोई ni मैंने आना ता है ही. Taan KUTUNGA साले KANJAR nu.
मैं तेरे naal भी एक AIRTEL ka prepaid bhej riya सी usme 1500 SMS free
wali scheme हा, तू रोज़ मेरे को SMS kari.

Chinta ना kari, जब भी gal करने को जी करे, एक miss call मार diyo.
मैं यहाँ से tenu बात कर levenga.
तू मेरे bill दी chinta ना kariyo, Sugreev nu payment दा jimma दे ditta
si.

Accha OK
See U.
With Luv
दशरथ दा Vadda पुत्तर "राम

Friday, February 8, 2008

......तर महाराष्ट्र असाच धगधगत राहणार

......तर महाराष्ट्र असाच धगधगत राहणार


काय आत्ता मिळणार हात पाय तोडून, डोकी फोडून
तुम्हीच त्यांना जवळ केलत ना, मतांसाठी हात जोडून
केलात विचार त्यावेळी बाणाला दूर दिल्लीत सोडू.....
चिखलात जावून कमळा बरोबर मैत्रीचं नातं जोडू......

मग आले सगळे मुंबईत काम करायला
तुमच्याच तोंडातले घास ओरबडायला
म्हणता म्हणता दिल्ली, बिहार अख्खा उत्तरप्रदेश आला
आपल्याच नजरेसमोर आपलाच महाराष्ट्र त्यात हरवून गेला

हजारोंच्या संखेने रोज इथे येतात
येऊ दया, येऊ दया आपल्यालाच ते मते देतात
फळे, भाजीपाला सर्व व्यवसाय त्यांनी ओढले
मासळी बजारातील कोळीणीला पण नाही सोडले

दिवस रात्र काम करतात आणि मोबदला पण घेतात कमी
चाची मौसी बोलून पाडतात भूरळ देतात चांगल्या मालाची हमी
का मराठी माणसाला हे कधी जमले नाही
कारण आमचे मन कधीच व्यवसायात रमले नाही.....

धावत धावत लोकल पकडून दहा वाजता ऑफिसला जायचं
बायकोनं दिलेला डबा खाउन दुपारी थोडसं डूलकायचं
संध्याकाळी काम केलं तर केलं नाहीतर राहिलं
नायडू, शर्मा, वर्मा अशा बॉसच्या हाताखालचं मांजर व्हायचं

डुबले तर काय होईल या विचाराने कधी व्यवसाय केला नाही
दूसरा कोणी करत असेल तर आम्हाला पाहावले नाही
मराठी माणसानेच मराठी माणसाचा पाय ओढला
बोलवून उप-यांना महाराष्ट्रात स्वतःच्या पायावर धोंडा पाडला

मग आत्ता काय करायचं या विचाराने पेटून गेले
फुटून, तूटून होवून वेगळे त्यांनी महाराष्ट्र नवनिर्माण केले...??
कसले काय आणि कसले काय.....बाण नाही पोहोचला दूर
म्हणुनच हा आत्ता आपापसातील वादाचा सुर.......

यात सामान्य मराठी माणूस भरडला जाणार
कोणी बाणा सांभाळणार तर कोणी नव निर्माणनाचे स्वप्न पाहणार
अशाच होतील दंगली मारामा-या परप्रांतीयां बरोबर
थांबले नाहीत येणारे लोंढे......तर महाराष्ट्र असाच धगधगत राहणार

Friday, February 1, 2008

A very nice poem by one of the yahoos ;)


i asked a friend the other day, why he goes to his job he dreads

he said i have a family, and dining table that needs breads

what about the challenges put forth to your talents?
who cares, what matters, its just a job, he laments



the destiny of a company, its people mostly determine
their values, behaviors and how they spend their time



yblr - a case in point! heated exchanges on the credit card craps
hospital services, real Year End Party, or the printing mishaps

it is great that we care about resources' use and waste
about fellow workers' welfare and bad grammar in haste

it is mostly venting, to no end and usually no results
frequent misplaced apostrophe's and occasional insults

but sometimes we have a wonderful situation
of customer focus and a win-win-win situation



hot off the printer is a case known Bangalore-wide
a "brainy soul" prints 180 pages of an online user guide

instantly, yblr is ablaze with people all concerned
it is not the first time either, that this has occurred

but for a change, it was nice to be spammered
"we care, we care" was the message hammered

mostly it was directed at the "brainy soul", this "hearty 'vent'ilation"
there was a voice of customer focus, and of amicable solution


what if we identify the most wanted printouts they need
get a few copies professionally printed, keep as geek feed

no one gets a snail mail in those physical mailboxes galore
why not use them as book shelves for each team or floor


caring for others
... caring for the company
... and an innovative solution!


for long, we have focused on problems, venting frustration
now let us focus on solutions, with delighting dedication

yahoos whine?
yahoos shine!

we have great skills, in the world - the best
just a little shift in attitude, will do the rest

what shift? what values? who will tell me, you say
not the management, but here is an idea, if I may

WE tell them what are purple values and yahoos
they trust our judgment, we should too!

let us find, foster and cherish what works and is good
quality delivery? decisively! customer delight? one yahoo-hood?

when you find someone, that you caught purple handed
smile, recognize and give a CPH card that has just landed!